Parents ask 31-year-old daughter to contribute $5K to her younger sister's wedding fund after they refused to spend a dime on her wedding 2 years earlier: 'You and your husband were more established financially. Your sister’s still figuring things out.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 12, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Many people's parents cover at least part of their wedding costs. I'd say weddings and down payments for houses are the most common large-scale financial gifts aging parents are willing to give their adult children, because they're setting the foundation for a productive adult life. I know that wealthy parents paying for their kids' dream weddings can be frustrating to hear if you spent years saving up for a wedding and still didn't get the day of your dreams because the day of your dreams would've set you back at least fifty Gs. I wish that everybody were able to get help from their parents to have the most romantic, glamorous wedding ever, but that's not the case for most people. Even with parental help, weddings are costly. Who knew that renting 50 uncomfortable chairs for 6 hours would set you back so much? But you can't let your wedding guests sit on the floor, so the cycle continues.

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to help pay for my sister’s wedding when my parents paid nothing for mine?

    I'm 31F and got married two years ago. My now-husband and I paid for the whole thing ourselves: venue, food, photographer, everything. My parents didn't offer a single dollar, which I never held against them. I figured they just couldn't afford it, and I didn't want to add pressure.
    via u/Wadelock2019

  • The sisters in this story were treated very differently by their parents. The older sister paid for her wedding, and the parents are helping to pay for her younger sister's wedding. Instead of just leaving it at that, they've asked the older sister to contribute to her younger sister's wedding fund. What a joke.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10528465920
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Fast-forward to now: my younger sister (28F) is getting married next spring. A few weeks ago, my mom called to "loop me in" on helping with costs. I thought she meant something small, like splitting decorations or planning a DIY day.
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10528469248
    via Olivie Strauss (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    Nope. They expected me to pitch in $5,000 to cover the venue deposit. My jaw literally dropped. I asked why they couldn't help her the way they didn't help me, and my mom said, "Well, you and your husband were more established financially. Your sister's still figuring things out."
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 06
    That might be true, but I don't think it makes me responsible for funding her wedding. I told them, politely, that I wouldn't be contributing, especially since we got zero help when it was our turn.
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 07
    Now my sister's not speaking to me. My mom says I'm being "petty" and "punishing" my sister for something she had no control over. My dad's staying quiet, but I know he agrees with my mom. One of my aunts even texted me to say I should "let it go" because "it's just money, and it's family."
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10528469504
    via Beth Macdonald

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    To be clear, I'm not struggling financially, but that doesn't mean I want to spend thousands on someone else's wedding, especially when I had to bootstrap my own. AITA for refusing to help pay for my sister's wedding when no one helped with mine?
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 10
    sexycherrryred Your sister not speaking to you just proves she's not ready for marriage, because adults don't throw silent tantrums over not getting a handout.
    via u/sexycherrryred
  • 11
    Wadelock2019 OP I didn't even say anything r de or dramatic — 1 just said I wouldn't be contributing. And suddenly I'm the enemy? If she can't have a grown-up conversation over a simple “no,” maybe she's not as ready for marriage as she thinks. I feel like she's acting more like a teenager than someone preparing to build a life with another person.
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 12
    Smitten BlackKitten That's a much kinder analogy than she deserves. She's acting like a toddler.
    via u/SmittenBlackKitten
  • 13
    Future-Battle-4926 The good thing is that now it's clear who their favorite daughter is. It would be good if you asked yours since you are family, so why won't she contribute to the wedding and if she asks why she didn't contribute to yours?
    via u/Future-Battle-4926
  • 14
    Character-Food-6574 This. Tell them your matching what they contributed to your wedding.
    via u/Character-Food-6574
  • 15
    puzzleheadedrubie Yep. If she can't handle a 'no' from her own sister without going nuclear, how's she gonna deal with a life partner?
    via u/puzzleheadedrubie
  • 16
    Foolish-Pleasure99 Besides, sis does have control over the situation. She can plan a wedding within her means like OP did. However, seeing the enthusiasm from the rest of the family it looks like mom, dad and aunts will pitch in since its family and just money.
    via u/Foolish-Pleasure99
  • 17
    Sassy-Peanut Your sister not speaking to you is a win-win because now she won't be begging for money.
    via u/Sassy-Peanut
  • 18
    Butterscotchl||1523 Tell your aunt and anyone who chimes in, that they help pay for the wedding. NTA can
    via u/Butterscotchlll1523
  • 19
    Wadelock2019 OP I'm honestly so tempted to respond with exactly that! "If you think it's so unfair, feel free to chip in yourself.” It's wild how comfortable people get dictating your finances when it's not their bank account on the line. I feel like this is one of those "give an inch, they take a mile" situations. If I give in now, next thing I know, I'll be expected to fund the honeymoon.
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 20
    Cardabella "I am letting it go. It's just money and it's all about love in the end. Sis doesn't need an expensive wedding to be a beautiful and meaningful celebration of theie commitment. We love our simple wedding."
    via u/Cardabella
  • 21
    Tight-Shift5706 This, OP. Your family s_ks. Imo, you and hubs book a cruise/vacation during the wedding week. Spend at least $5,000. Enjoy and don't look back.
    via u/Tight-Shift5706
  • 22
    nerdybettylafea You had your wedding. You paid your way. They made their choice then. Now they're mad you're not subsidizing a redo? Nah. Stand firm.
    via u/nerdybettylafea
  • 23
    Wadelock2019 OP That's exactly how I feel. I never made a fuss when they didn't chip in for mine, I just dealt with it. But now they're acting like it's my job to even the scales? Nope. If they truly couldn't afford to help me back then, fine. But don't come to me now like I'm the family bank.
    via u/Wadelock2019
  • 24
    Organic-Willow2835 That is what you tell them. "We all want things we can't have in life. She just might have to scale back what she envisions just like I did, to fit within the budget available to her. I am NOT now nor will I ever be the family piggy bank. She can pay for her own wedding just like I did."
    via u/Organic-Willow2835
  • 25
    BigCoach DP Gen X answer: Since when is it a thing for someone to think they're entitled to ask others to pay for their wedding? It's traditional for the parents to help not siblings, friends, coworkers, the dude behind the register at the gas station... Tell your sister to off or have a wedding she can actually afford.
    via u/BigCoachDP

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family drama marriage entitled parents wedding planning wedding drama sisters money problems entitled parent wedding family sister daughter weddings money parents
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